Melancholie

Blanket Blast

How great are these Heavy Metal quilts by American Artist Ben Venom:

(via SZ Magazin)

Oldfriend: Oldseed

Next show in Berlin: Cassiopeia May 5th.

Heiliger Anton

I tend to believe the best live show I’ve ever seen was Bon Iver last november. That might be because the Antony And The Johnsons` show I saw in Berlin`s Admiralspalast has been (exactly) 3 years ago (already).

(I really like his little crazy drama queeniness at 1:08)

Stars

Old love found again.

Holmes

Looking forward to their show in Berlin next wednesday: Schokoladen

On being a youtube watcher

Last weekend at the wedding of my very good friends I came to talk to people about what we do, how we do it, if we like it, if we can make a living of it etc. I was kind of happy with talking about my job to be sitting on the couch watching youtube videos. I’m happy not to feel the pressure of finding a job yesterday (even though slowly but surely it pops up in my head rather often again).

Sitting on the couch definitely is nice. But it surely doesn’t tell who I am and what I can do.

So now I’m wondering. Is it too much of understatement to talk about myself as a youtube watcher and not tell people what I actually can do? How do the things I do professionally (or could do professionally) define me? How come I feel so under-confident to talk about my “skills”? Did being a mother make me feel self-conscious about what my professional skills are? (Maybe. Nobody would do a job that meant not being paid for a shitload of work with nobody noticing. (Yesyes: the smile of your kid pays off… I know)) Did my growing up situation (not to blame my parents only) make myself feel self-conscious? (Probably.) Or do I still have issues with being a social worker (amongst others)?

I wish I could rather focus on what I like to do instead of what I studied and have “licensed” with a diploma. I wish I could stop thinking about myself as what I work is who I am. But believing in what I can do and makes me happy is who I am.

Am I on the right way by feeling good about talking about myself as a youtube watcher?

Happiness

After in december and january I had a really bad not-knowing-what-I-want-and-how-I-happened-to-live-the-life-I-do-depression going I’m now happy to annouce: I’m a woman, a mother, a partner. Also I’m a job-searcher, sun-lover and time-off-enjoyer. (I’m also very excited to find out what else I am or will be.) Here comes some proof:

Colour my Life

I recently bought my very first red shirt/dress. I never thought I’d like to dress myself in colour. Which I do now.  So, just in case somebody wants to give me a (colourful) shirt as a gift, I’d have some ideas:

Actually I’d take anything by Los Angeles designer Heidi Merrick.

(via black.white.yellow)

Two years old for Two days today

Having Levi’s birthday was (shamefully-übermotherly) like having my own birthday. With sleepless days before and wondering what to give him and what he would get. As it was his first birthday to really celebrate (we didn’t celebrate his first one for baby-unconscious-reasons) I wanted it for him to be a lovely day. A special day. And for me, too. We had small friends over in the afternoon and big friends in the evening. It was a lovely day. And he got very lovely presents. I made him a blanket for little cars which he can play with at home and take with him when we travel. He likes it.

The details are our house and our bike-trailer. (I found the idea on the internet but the link doesn’t work anymore – Thank you, inspirer!)

Now he’s two years old and going to daycare soon. And I’m going to have to find out what happens with my „professional life“. Scary.