Being a mother for one and half years today I wonder how it changed me. I wish I had a video tape of myself from before. Well – maybe not.
Now I definitely know that loving your own kid is absolutely unconditional. Nothing and no one could have told me how that feels. Being a mother unfortunatley didn’t make me a lot more patient – I kind of hoped that. Instead it made me even more controlfreaky. Another good thing: it made me more thoughtful of the cleanliness of my house. I’m a nest builder now. I just recently discovered and am most proud of: I’m far more laid-back. I found out that trying to be productive plus spending time with Levi just makes the both of us mad. So being a bit more relaxed and believing that most things will do tomorrow made life a lot easier.
Well, also I now know that I can make extreme situations. Giving birth to a 850 gramm preemie changed my life even faster that I thought it would. It’s amazing how motherhood gave me strengths that I never believed I had. I’m still horribly anxious (and nervous for days) whenever we have to go to the doctors with him. Fearing that something might be wrong. I’m still horribly worried when he doesn’t eat up because to fatten up was pretty much the only important thing in the very beginning that I really understood and could kind of control myself. He is a very good eater though as he is contemporary well developed and absolutely beautiful, funny, smart – whatever any other mother says about their kid…
Obviously being a mother hasn’t just changed my life – it changed myself: I would have never predicted that praising my child in a blog like this could happen.