Autumn

Autumn has always meant changes for me. As a kid and teenager I liked shopping through all kinds of catalogues with my mother in order to order new clothes for autumn that I loved wearing on the first day of school. (I grew up in the veryvery countryside so catalogue shopping was the thing to do unless you wanted to drive for hours to get to a real shop. Moreover we lived in east Germany. So after the Fall of the Wall my mother loved finally being allowed to just order whatever she saw…)

After I finished school I moved out of my parent’s house – in autumn. I changed university and therefore cities several times – always in autumn.

This year’s autumn changes aren’t determined so much by the weather (as we didn’t have a real hot summer in Berlin) but by going another step towards separation from my boy: he will be going to kindergarten. And I will be going to work.

I’m really looking forward to having more time to being with myself again. But at the same time I’m having lots of respect (not to say I’m a bit anxious) about letting him go. I’m going to miss our 30 minutes in bed after waking up when he talks and shows all our bodyparts and is rolling all over the bed and me. I’m going to miss his funny moves while learning to eat lunch with a spoon himself. I’m going to miss bringing him to bed after lunch and staying in bed as well.

But I will love seeing how he makes friends and will be able to play stuff that I’m not patient enough to show him or don’t have the experience than they do in kindergarten. Also I’m going to love doing something to earn my own money and not to depend so much on the man anymore. I’m going to love having spare time for reading the newspapers. I’m going to love being more confident because of feedback that doesn’t have anything to do with childcare or housecare. (However also I’m anxious about that future feedback already because I believe I can just do childcare and housecare…)

Also, as the comsumist-kid that I formerly was – I’m still like that. I still don’t like shopping in real shops. But I don’t do it with catalogues neither. Holymoly internet of course is a never ending source of desires. My desires. Here come the ones that I desire mostly nowadays:

Frye boots. I’d love to have a pair of these. Unfortunately they aren’t sold in Germany. I suppose I’d have to try them on because my (fucking sensitive) feet usually aren’t made for heels (even if they are just 4 cm). I could order a pair online and send it back on my own expenses. In the end I will probably to that.

These chino pants from Knowledge Cotton Apparel! I already have them in navy for a year now and wear them pretty much everyday. This colour is lovely and would be a bit crazy in my otherwise navy/grey/black wardrobe. The best thing about them? These danes make all their apparels from 100% certified organic cotton.

Who would have thought. I’m still obsessed with having a new table. The above one is pretty similar to the one I’ve actually wanted. But even a bit nicer. And made in Berlin. Which I like, too.

Other things I’d like to do this autumn is cooking seasonal vegetables more. Like all kinds of root vegetables, preferably stewed in salt in the oven. I’m going to knit jackets. Little ones, though, because I’m too impatient for big ones. I might be going swimming more regularly – one should have bigger goals. Most of all I’m going to enjoy the afternoons: Playing with Levi after kindergarten and hoping he will still like to talk bodyparts and kiss my belly.

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